Us and Them

In 1968, Jimmy Page and his manager Peter Grant acquired the rights to the name of the Yardbirds. Wishing to give new impetus to their fading star, they relaunched briefly as the New Yardbirds. It was in this format that Page performed in the early autumn of 1968 with established music professional John Paul Jones on bass and two unknowns from the Black Country making up the quartet called Robert Plant and John Bonham. The rest is history of course but have you ever wondered how the more familiar name Led Zepellin came about? Several stories exist but the most likely involves a conversation between the two late rhythm players of The Who. Having just enjoyed a secretive recording session with Jimmy Page, Jeff Beck and Nicky Hopkins, John Entwistle joked to Keith Moon "we should call ourselves Lead Zeppelin because we'll go down like a lead balloon". The famous quintet was doomed from the outset due to the lack of a credible singer. Steve Marriott, Steve Winwood and Terry Read were all "otherwise engaged" so that was that. However, the shrewd Page took the name and Entwistle's artwork with him to launch his own group a couple of months later. Well, almost.
Have you ever wondered why Page chose to spell it Led instead of Lead? Interviewed in the last month of 1968, his answer was succinct; "If we spell it Lead, the thick Americans will mis-pronounce it" (as the implement used for walking a dog...). Very clever when you stop to consider it. He had grasped the American audience even at that stage.
It was therefore with more than a hint of mirth that I learnt of the sacking of Cheryl Cole off an American prime time TV show. Now I have to confess that my knowledge of Cheryl Cole is limited with a capital L. However, I have heard her speak.
In Britain, we have a plethora of regional dialects each with its own identity. Broadly speaking, we become used to them from the Geordie to the Taff to the Scouser to the Scot to the Cockney to the Black Country Yam Yam. The fact is that strong British regional accents don't work stateside because we become desensitised to how strong and unintelligible they can be. Cheryl Cole would have had more chance with sub-titles and one of those people doing sign language next to her to give her audience a fighting chance.
This does go to prove one inescapable fact. You can have all the looks in the world but if nobody can understand a word you're saying you have the functional merit of a chocolate teapot or an ashtray on a motorbike. I am at a loss to understand the thought process of the producers who hired her. What can they have been thinking?
To quote their President, we may have a special relationship but our differences are as strong as ever they were.

Dulce Domum

I've just started reading the Wind In The Willows to my son for bedtime stories recently. As a child, it was my favourite book by far and I'm still young enough to pick it up every now and again. Its great to see the look of wonder and enjoyment on his face as new characters are introduced. There is an undoubted charm to this novel and I think at its root is the gentility and innocence of that Golden Age between the end of the Victorian era and the First World War. Class plays its part of course but its great acheivement is to make you feel as though you part of the adventures. Each character is endearing in very different ways and when I was growing up, I would think of people as Rat, Mole, Badger or Toad. If I'm honest, I still do. For what its worth, I've always identified most with the character of Badger. I hope my son garners the same levels of joy and pleasure from this book as I have. At the time of writing, he has a soft spot for Toad but I wonder if his views will change?

Its Old Hat Now

I hear this morning that Princess Beatrice is to auction the subtle hat which she was seen sporting at the wedding of her cousin Prince William recently. A few points sprung to mind. Who would want such a hat? Does it come with a box? If so, what shape is the box because this is surely of greater intrigue than the hat itself. For what reasons do people choose to wear such garments? Let us safely disregard the safety of subtlety and move on to the more obvious motive of attracting attention. But attracting attention to what or whom? Personally, the hat made me feel rather queasy and so, transfixed, I'm afraid I payed little attention to the person beneath it. Perhaps this was the intention of Her Royal Highness. If so, this move was a stroke of genius on her part. To sell it for more than it cost shows an entrepreneurial acumen which we would not more commonly associate with her mother. Will she be attending the wedding of her cousin Zara Phillips? If so, I can't wait. At last we have a member of the Royal Family who courts rather than shuns publicity. Marvelous.May the said hat bring much joy and bewilderment to its new owner whoever it may be. My guess though is that the buyer of such a garment is more likely to be anonymous....

The first year of marriage

Today marks the first anniversary of the ConLib coalition. The Conservatives entered the marriage with 307 seats against the 57 of their Liberal bedfellows. Of course every marriage needs compromise from both sides and politics is no different. However, to coin Orwell in Animal Farm,"All animals are equal except some are more equal than others". With 307 seats versus 57 seats the inequality speaks for itself. One year later, we have just had the referendum on the alternative voting system, the local elections and the elections for the national assemblies of Wales and Scotland. If the latter are a judgment on both sides in this coalition, the conclusions for each are in stark contrast. The Conservatives, surprisingly for a majority governing party, have been given a universal seal of approval. That they have failed so miserably in Scotland is entirely in line with expectations as the memory of Mrs. Thatcher is alive and well in the hearts and minds of the Scots. By contrast, the Liberals have been not so much chastised as assaulted! Their small gain in Wales was more a reflection of the nuances of Welsh politics. Elsewhere the message to them has been emphatic. To enter into a coalition espousing the best interests of the country is admirable but to then subsequently break most of your manifesto promises along the way is quite another. Even politicians need an element of credibility and I fear that the Liberals lost theirs twelve months ago. To agree to forfeit the lion's share of your election manifesto in exchange for a vote on something which wasn't even your preferred electoral system is at best weak and at worst stupid. In a way, they had to enter the coalition since this represented their only viable chance of being in government. A minority led Conservative government would simply have gone back to the country in the Autumn and acquired the majority which they needed. Hence, it always appeared that it was heads (the conservatives win) or tails (the conservatives win). Clegg ought to have stuck to his principles and put his money where his mouth is and demanded no less than a vote on proportional representation. He may not have won this vote but it would have had two key advantages. Firstly, PR was what his party has been campaigning for since before I was in short trousers and secondly, PR can be explained with ease to anyone - unlike the alternative voting system! I consider myself to be reasonably well informed but I'm buggered if anyone over the past month ever coherently explained how the alternative voting system actually works. That he chose to pursue a referendum on a system to which he did not subscribe and which he patently didn't understand is difficult to understand.

He speaks now of flexing his party's muscles more in government but doesn't seem to see that his strength is now akin to that of Daniel after his haircut. He is now between the devil and the deep blue sea. Flex his muscles and make himself look even more stupid (scarcely believable) or adopt a more subservient and acquiescent style with the latter removing what little credibility he may have left. To leave the coalition would be suicidal because, ironically, he would now be even weaker outside of it. Thus, I fully expect the coalition to see out its five years in government with the Conservatives being returned as the majority government in its wake.

Twelve months hence, we shall all doubtless be considering the first year of marriage of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. I trust they both know what they seek out of their coalition and hope they have the strength to stick to their respective guns. Mr Clegg has sought popularity and the limelight and both have now betrayed him. The Duke and Duchess would be well advised to avoid both.