In keeping with a growing trend, my wife and I resolved to abstain from alcohol for the New Year. Because of my impending final medical school examinations, I decided to put our committment to the test. Rather than maintain our abstinence until Easter as is our usual custom, this year we agreed to extend our target to June 28th, that being the day after my final examination.
As time went on, the extent to which alcohol dominates our national life became ever more apparent. In truth, there were only half a dozen occasions during the six months when either of us expressed a desire for alcohol. It occurred to me that our society revolves around and depends upon alcohol far more than I had ever previously considered. "It is such a great bond between men" pondered the Earl of Brideshead in the eponymous novel by Evelyn Waugh. I think this gets to the heart of the matter. Is it really a great bond between men or does drinking in the company of our peers lessen the need to feel guilty about the amount we are drinking? It seems as though the answer lies somewhere between the two. Sharing a meal is of course as old as the hills and having a drink goes hand in hand with that. I suppose the real question is to try and identify the point at which the wish for a drink is superceded by the need for a drink? I'm sure this doesn't apply to everyone but for many it does. During the course of the last six months, many of my friends who are also the wrong side of 40 have expressed strongly that going without alcohol for six months would be utterly unthinkable. For one thing, they've probably never tried but for another, they're probably right.
As the six months rumbled on with the final exam moving closer and closer and with the reward of a nice glass of claret becoming more real by the day, it is difficult to fully express my disappointment when I shared my first drink for nearly half a year. It was a lightly chilled Chablis and met my stomach not with a soothing caress but with a caustic attack which would have done justice to any half decent battery acid. The following evening we shared a glass of merlot-rich St. Emillion and the experience was marginally improved. One glass was definitely enough though. I awoke the next morning with my energy zapped and the distinct feeling that I had seriously underestimated the effect of abstinence on my levels of tolerance. Six months ago, the prospect of leaving the bottle half finished would have been fanciful in the extreme.
In Great Expectations, Dickens writes, "scattered wits take a long time in picking up". I can vouch that my wits have been sharpened beyond recognition during my time of abstinence. While I intend to carry on drinking alcohol henceforth, I shall resolve to do so in a more responsible manner because I genuinely feel better for drinking less.
During the last few months, we have given dinner parties in which we provided wine for our guests but they regrettably felt awkward drinking it because we weren't. That is a pity because the decision to do without shouldn't evoke such guilt. It ought to be accepted as just a normal decision. Unfortunately, our society dictates that it is better to join in to gain more acceptance. It is this bridge which needs to be crossed in order for us to re-address the way in which we view alcohol in our culture. Drinking alcohol is fine and I certainly haven't become a bore who brands all others as hopeless dipsomaniacs. I have learned a lot about alcohol this year but have undoubtedly learned even more about myself. I still harbour a great love for the grape but in a slightly different way.
The final examination after a nine year journey went well enough. That said, how I feel it went and how the examiners feel it went seldom concur so time will tell. The mark is of no relevance. Success or failure are separated only by whether your nose is one side of the line or not. Rather like the near miss lottery winner who was only one digit away from matching all six, he might as well have been thirty digits away. Life is often fickle and examinations provide evidence aplenty. Until the result is published, I will continue to hold grape expectations...
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