Oil and Water

News emerges that Jeremy Clarkson intends to contest the seat for Sheffield Hallam at the next General Election. Where to start? The headline is that the incumbent MP is none other than Nick Clegg. Great news for the Fourth Estate but I'm not sure about the people of Sheffield Hallam. Clarkson has never hidden his views under a bushel and has made great capital out of them in various books. Clegg has a wafer thin majority so, in theory, is there for the taking. I understand that a facebook page exists for Jeremy Clarkson as Prime Minister. No hysteria there then. As far as I can recall, his views are the only ones I've seen which make Nigel Farrage seem moderate. In hard times, extremism usually comes to the fore and attracts voters and now is no different. The man who just wants to be left in peace to drive his cars fast while listening to Led Zeppelin would doubtless bring with him a raft of measures designed to make his life a little more bearable. The problem might lie with money as it often does. Thus far, he has pocketed over £14 million for his involvement in Top Gear. This appears to qualify him for a ministerial role since most of the current cabinet are millionaires in their own right. Just as it is for them, politics for Clarkson would be a nice little play thing with which to experiment with their rigid views. I foresee petrol at 10p per gallon with road tax free for all and a national road building scheme going in to over drive to satisfy his lust for speed. As amusing stories go, this one will take a lot of beating. For one thing, he intends to stand as an independent so isn't really in the running to effect any change at a national level anyway. The real question surely is this: What has Clegg done to annoy him in to such drastic action? Perhaps he's done nothing and Clarkson is taking this action by the same logic employed by a dog indulging in certain unpleasant habits - because he can. It's possible. Perhaps Clegg has come down hard on motorists during his time as a subservient understudy in the Coalition. Maybe the wafer majority gives Clarkson the best chance of making a quick splash. Whatever the reason, politics is in danger of being the next X factor as bored celebrities seek to inflict themselves on us in new ways. I pray not because the consequences would be disastrous. Just for once, I find myself looking at Nigel Farrage in a new light. Clarkson has achieved the impossible here. For the first time, he has made UKIP seem reasonable. I think that puts his candidacy in to perspective. Please go back to making TV programmes and smoking fags and leave politics to those best placed to protect their own interests. Sorry, I meant our interests of course..