Friday 18 October 2013

Ever so lonely.

I'm pleased to see Jeremy Hunt revisiting the debate on loneliness inour society. Make no mistake, the loneliness is not in our country; it is in our society. Already, the trigger happy finger of Labour accuses Mr. Hunt of blaming families. If they could just for once listen to what's being said, they might one day become more helpful. Far from restricting his blame to the families of the lonely, Mr. Hunt rightly asserts the problem to be one for all of us. That is the point.

While I'm aware that loneliness among the elderly is not an entirely new problem, it's certainly a growing problem as our lives become more insular. The current government and too many of its predecessors have all played their part in this. One of the biggest contributory factors to the growing cases of loneliness is the relentless erosion of small communites. The trend to move the retail sector out of town has been one of the biggest problems. A vibrant high street usually points to a vibrant community. There will be many reading this who, like me, live in a place where the high street has been systematically destroyed by the misguided decision making of local government. There will be a minority of the lucky ones too who have fought tooth and nail to retain the independence and, by inference, strength of their high streets. The latter are essential to sustain local community cohesion. The former have only destroyed cohesion.

The wider point here is that communites and true community spirit does not spring up overnight like a mushroom in October. Such communities evolve and grow over decades and centuries. They take time to develop. By contrast, they can be destroyed in months and rebuilding them costs both time and money.

Labour is right to highlight the importance of family in the care of their own elderly but would do well to heed the words of a famous Chinese proverb. In China, it is said that it takes an entire village to bring up a child. Similarly, in Scandinavia a new housing development begins with where the play area is going to be and where the elderly will be looked after. Rightly, the two ends of the ageing process are seen as key components of Scandinavian society. When I look around the UK today, we are getting better at childcare but still have far to go. When I look at care of the elderly, I despair at what has happened to us. These are the people from whom we can learn so much and yet become the most neglected members of our society. Its very difficult to make sense of that. In Spain, neglected dogs are rounded up and put down but their elderly are well looked after and receive frequent visits from family and friends alike. In the UK, we are revered as a nation of dog lovers and would rather clean the bathroom than visit an elderly relative or neighbour.

Mr. Hunt correctly points to Asian cultures from whom we can learn so much. For them, residential care is always the last option. This should be our aspiration too. If people intend to turn this in to a political debate centred around the cost of care, that is fine by me. The provision of care for the elderly does cost a lot. That cost would be greatly reduced if families and communities took greater responsibility and compassion. It is well known that the elderly tend to prosper far better with the continuity of familiar faces and surroundings. I've seen this myself countless times so wonder why we have developed such an aversion to the very people without whom we wouldn't even be here?

The preoccupation with self which has come to define our age will not be an attractive time to look back on for the next generation. We are in danger of becoming too insular and forget about the people around us who sometimes would just benefit from a bit of human contact. Care might only mean having a chat or putting the kettle on but even such small things are massively beneficial. I don't agree with most of what Mr. Hunt says but applaud him for bringing this issue to the fore. This isn't about money. This is about humanity. Oscar Wilde said "A cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing". We need to ditch the cynicism and recognise the value here. This isn't going to take money but it might take a few minutes out of our lives which we think are too busy but in reality, never are.

No comments:

Post a Comment